Crazy Daze, Silly Knights

 Rules for online meetings: 1. Do not wait until last minute to figure out how to call into the meeting. Yes, you might be whimsical and carefree in your daily work life, but the longer it takes you to log into the meeting is the longer the meeting will take and you will be judged by those of us who show up on time.  2. Mute your damn mic. No one wants to hear you chewing, or Maury in the background. or your jazzercize playlist, or your significant other on another call. Most importantly, and I cannot stress this enough, we don't want insight into whatever melodrama you have going on. And if you are going to call those 2 women drama queens....have the decency to name them because I don't want to try and figure out who you are talking about! 3. No one likes a paper shuffler when they are speaking. If you are going to flip pages constantly, might I suggest you get your shit together BEFORE the meeting. I know, it is petty, but your paper shuffling is distracting from the point I...

    I've been working from home since the middle of March because of the pandemic. In the beginning, it was kind of thrilling, almost like a movie. In order to save humanity, you have to hide from humanity. The biggest duty you have is to not breathe on people or lick doorknobs. It is a job so simplistic that even I was sure I was able to do it...hell I thought it was a no brainer for everyone.      It is now December and the thrill is gone. Cleary, I overestimated the general population's ability to not spread a virus. COVID rages on with all the fury of a toddler learning they ate the last piece of chocolate. It's hard to believe I would miss some things in life I once took for granted.             I miss going into work. That's right, I said it. I miss the doldrum of dragging my old, tired butt out of bed, foraging for questionable leftovers in my refrigerator for my lunch, and leaving just earlier enough to be almost l...

People (on NYE): Happy New Year! Just think of the things we will do this year! All the possibilities! 2019: Dudes, come on, I wasn’t that bad, right? Why are you tossing me to the curb? People: F u 2019! We got nothing but good times and possibilities ahead of us! Sure, you might have had good times, but 2020 has more to come. Fate: Muh hahahahahahahaha People: Did you hear a weird laughter on the post-midnight air? Fate Nope. (disappears) People: So…anyway. 2019, screw you, better times are ahead. 2019: My younger sibling is a dick, btw. I’m just sayin… 2020: I’m so telling dad.  2019: Whatever, I’m outta here. Good luck with these crazy, ungrateful, assholes. Father Time: Don’t make me get your Mother, She is tired of all of your shit. 2019: I don’t care, I’m barely even here. 2020: Way to run a house, Dad. Make Mom take care of business. Father Time: It has been a long year and I’m getting too old for this shit. I’m letting her deal with your asses. ...