Together on the Bridge

Pearl slowly opened up her eyes and looked around the room. She was getting familiar with her new place in the house, though she missed the familiar smells and noises of the living room, a room she thought of as the pack’s den. For as long as she could remember, she would wake up in her comfortable bed in the little box, but recently she was moved into where her pack leader slept.  

It took her a few moments to get her body to do what she wanted to do. When she was a puppy, she remembered getting up and bouncing around the house, making noises so everyone in the house would hear. Now, it took her a while to be able to stand up and focus her eyes. She felt like she had to go out immediately, knowing how upset her Lady used to get when she would pee in the house. Even though her accidents were met with sighs and no angry tones, Pearl still felt like she had to go outside.   

Pearl gave a small bark, but now it came out as a dry croak. She remembered there was a time when it took a long time for her pack to let her out, but before she was able to bark again, her Lady was there. Had she been up waiting for her? Was she up before Pearl again? It seemed to happen more and more that Pearl no longer needed to wait, her Lady was already helping her up to go out. She felt herself being scooped up, and immediately she wanted to struggle to get down, but she decided to let the Lady take her out as often on the way out she couldn’t stop her bladder from letting go. Besides, the warm of the Lady was nice next to her as she got so cold so quickly lately.  

She could hear the Lady’s voice was heavy again, trying to mask sadness. Pearl didn’t know how to tell her that her voice and she smells all said she was sad. Was she sick? Pearl didn’t want her Lady to be sick. She would have to work hard today to make sure the Lady was feeling good.  

Pearl felt herself be put down in the grass and she immediately was peeing. Her back legs gave out a little, but she corrected herself before the Lady could help her up again. Often the Lady had to help pick her up off the grass, but not today, and when Pearl was done, she looked at the Lady and wagged her tail. She was told she was a “Good Girl”….those were always the nicest tones to come out of the Lady, when she was told she was a “Good Girl.” She can’t remember the first time she was called a “Good Girl”, but she knew that it was something that always made her feel happy.  

Instead of being picked up again, the Lady opened up the door and let Pearl in the door. Pearl was proud she didn’t trip once. It was like being a puppy all over again, not being able to control herself. She remember a time when she would be able to climb everywhere and jump on everything. Oh the times she had when they went on hikes and she would leap and bound on everything outside. Maybe that is what she needed, another good walk outside, maybe she would feel more like a puppy again.  

The Lady put out her food and looked at Pearl expectantly. Pearl knew what she wanted, she felt the Lady willing her to eat something, but she didn’t feel hungry. She smelled the food and licked at it. She tried to eat a bit, but it didn’t feel good on her nose or in her mouth. She didn’t know why, she always liked this food, the Lady even put on her favorite topping. But no matter how much she wanted to please the Lady, she couldn’t’ bring herself to eat the food. She looked at the Lady and wagged her tail, it was a lower tail as if to say, “I’m sorry, but I tried. I just can’t today.” She saw her Lady wipe her eyes and say something in soothing tones. Pearl was worried about the Lady, she seemed to sad, she hoped she was ok. She would do anything for her Lady.  

She watched her food being picked up and put on the counter. Pearl turned and drank some water not as much to sooth a thirst she didn’t seem to have anymore, but to make her Lady happy. She turned to look at the Lady for approval, but she saw she was talking to a small thing in her hand again. That thing was often in her hand, and sometimes it made her happy, sometimes sad, on rare occasions it made her angry. This time she could see the Lady was crying again. Pearl became worried and started to whine, she wanted to help, she wanted to make the Lady feel better.  

The Lady put the small thing in her pocket and went to her favorite chair. This was Lady’s favorite moment, because both her and the Lady fit in that chair. When she was younger, she would leap up there and sniff and groom her Lady, and then they would just sit there, the Lady petting her. It was nice feeling the Lady stroke her fur. Pearl tried to keep herself nice and clean, always grooming. Lately though, it was harder and often times the Lady did the grooming for her by wiping her down with soft clothes. It was ok though, when they were in the chair together, Pearl knew she could make her Lady happy again. She always felt her smells get calmer, more relaxed. Even on days when the Lady spoke in hard tones, when they sat in the chair, they both made each other feel better.  

Today, the Lady just picked her up and they went right to the chair. Pearl whined a little when the Lady’s tears were flowing again. When the Lady put her face closer to hers, Pearl gently licked the Lady’s nose and made the Lady make a noise that she knew was happiness. Pearl kept thinking she would try and make her feel better by curling up in her lap. She felt the hands stroking her fur, she felt some calmer smells in the Lady. Pearl knew if they were in the chair she would cheer up. She knew that both of them would feel better.  

Suddenly there was a noise at the door. How did Pearl not  hear someone coming up the walk? That was her favorite thing to do, to sit and watch for anyone coming towards the house. She must have fallen asleep and missed the noises. She felt like she slept a lot and she knew she had to do better, who would keep the Lady safe if she was not there to alert her to the noises?  

The Lady put her gently on the ground and went to the door. Pearl tried to see who it was, but her cloudy eyes didn’t work as well as they once did, so she relied on the smells of the person. The smell was familiar and it took her a moment to remember the person. It was the one they went to sometimes, they poked and prodded Pearl and had strong smells. She had been to that place a lot lately. But it was ok, they were always nice to Pearl, they always gave her good pets and good treats.  

The Lady was once again openly crying, and Pearl started to get anxious and worried. Were they going to hurt her Lady? Not if Pearl could help it, she started walking toward the Lady, trying to put herself between the 2 people. The Lady picked her up and Pearl relaxed because she knew they would watch out for each other.  

It was strange, because they took her outside to her favorite place in the yard. It was a place Pearl had a harder time to get to now because that part of the yard seemed to far away. It was a place under the tree she dug and scratched around. Over the years, the Lady would put out blankets for her to sleep under the tree. She could feel the breeze going over her, she could smell all of her favorite smells. She thought maybe the other person wasn’t so bad if she would sit with her under the tree.  

They put Pearl on soft blankets and Pearl liked it. She wondered if this was a new game. She hoped it was, she hadn’t been able to play games in a long time. No more fetch, no more digging. She remembered a time when the other pack members were there playing with her. How they all jumped and played. Now, she didn’t see them anymore.  

How she missed their smells, but she was happy the Lady stayed behind even after the Man went away. She remembered one day finding him on the couch. He didn’t smell right, he smelled…gone. She barked and barked to let everyone know and maybe they could help. The Lady made so many noises that day, she howled and cried and then people came and took him away. Pearl did everything she could to make her happy, to chase away the pain that was so deep inside Pearl couldn’t even see it. It took a long time for the Lady to not smell sad all the time. Some nights, Pearl could smell the sadness come back, and Pearl would just sit by her side…sometimes she was able to chase away the sadness, like she chased the squirrels in the yard, but sometimes she wasn’t able to. But Pearl made sure she always tried.  

Pearl just watched at the person took some things out of a black bag. It all smelled strong, like the office she visited. She looked at her Lady who was just looking at her. She saw tears coming out but the words were comforting. Pearl was a “Good girl” and her “favorite girl” and it was time to sleep now. Pearl didn’t know what was happening, but she knew the Lady wouldn’t let anyone hurt her, they were together. She felt a sting on her leg, but the Lady just held her and she relaxed. Turns out, the Lady was right, she was sleepy. Maybe she would just close her eyes under her favorite tree. Then when she woke up, they would go inside and sit in their chair and help each other feel happy again.  

 

Leslie watched Pearl close her eyes for a final time and the veterinarian listened to Pearl’s heard when it beat for the final time. Her dog had been with her for 16 years, during some of the happiest and darkest times of her life. As the veterinarian took the lifeless body away, Leslie just laid on the blankets and wept. Her children, now adults, came as soon as they hear the news Pearl was going to be put down. Their mom didn’t want them all there because she didn’t want Pearl to be stressed, she wanted her to be at peace. It took them a long time to coax their mother back into the house.  
 
Pearl felt herself waking up again and as she opened her eyes, she was under the tree still. But Lady and the other person were not there. Where were they? Pearl decided to get up and go inside to look for them.  
 
For the first time in a long time, Pearl felt good walking around the yard. She felt the urge to run and jump…and she did. Her bark was as strong as her legs once were. How happy the Lady will be when she sees her again. She ran into the house to tell her, but the house smelled differently, she didn’t smell the things that should have been familiar. How long was she asleep? She looked around and saw the front door was open. She sat down and whined, knowing she was not supposed to go outside on her own. She paced and pawed at the ground because while she knew what they told her to do…she felt something pulling her outside. Maybe the Lady is out there waiting for her…Pearl decided she had to go and see.  

Things looked different outside, the loud cars and machines were not going around her. In fact, there were no other houses, just her. This day was so strange, and she sniffed the air around her. She caught something familiar on the air and she decided to follow it. She started to walk faster as the scent got stronger, and she realized it was the scent of the Lady. Oh how happy she was to follow that smell, she ran until she came to a bridge and then she sat down. She didn’t see the Lady, she saw other dogs who smelled like the Lady. She whined and yipped, she pawed the air. No other dogs should smell like they Lady, but here they were.  

They turned toward her and at first Pearl lowered her head in fear, she didn’t know these dogs and what if they didn’t like Pearl, what if she was on their land? But they smelled so much like the Lady, she also was curious. She stood still as they came to her and sniffed her. She felt their joy as they smelled her. There were 4 of them and they groomed her face and ears and they started walking over the bridge…and Pearl followed them. Anyone who smelled like the Lady could not be bad.  

As they crossed the bridge, Pearl smelled something she hasn’t smelled in a long time. She searched her catalog of smells to try and remember what it was….and then she heard a voice and remembered. It was the Man! Oh she ran towards him and jumped on him, even though she wasn’t supposed to, and he picked her up and she licked his face. She could feel his warmth as he held her and called her a “Good Girl” and she knew she was safe again. Once the greeting was over, he put her on the ground and started walking with the other dogs. Pearl knew she was safe, but she missed the Lady.  

Leslie took out her pictures she kept in a box and passed them around the table. Her kids laughed and cried as they went thru the memories. Leslie took out pictures of her other dogs and shared old stories the kids already knew. Here was Crook, the dog her parents gave her when she was a kid. He has a crooked tail and would sleep in her bed at night, even though her parents hated it. And look, this was Shep, the one her parents go after Crook died. How she cried when she went to college and had to leave him behind. Every break she would go for runs with him. She cried when they told her he had gotten out and was hit by a car. Then there were the 2 bonded dogs, Titan and Monty, her and her husband got before they were married, before the children. They were already 5 years old, but they fell in love with them. The children’s earliest memories were of the 2 dogs, but they had to be put down when they were still young. Pearl they remembered and grew up with. Pearl was their dog they made tents with and dressed up for dog parties. Pearl was the one who slept by them when they had fevers. And when their dad died, Pearl was very busy comforting the entire family. When they called, they always asked about Pearl.  

One of the children asked the mother, “Will you get another one?” Leslie smiled, “I’m too young to not rescue another dog.”  

Many years later, as the children once again together, but this time it was for their mother. She patted their hands, said she was as good as what is to be expected. She felt tired and she wanted to sit by the window, to look outside of it. She heard the bustle in back of her, listening to the children talk in whispers about her. It was good to hear their voices, even if t was out of worry for her. Leslie was tired to her bones. She looked down and couldn’t remember her current dog getting up in her lap. She pet the dog and looked out the window thinking she would just close her eyes for a bit.  

The children in the other room heard the dog start to whine and bark. They ran in to quiet the dog, but saw their mother’s drooped hand and open eyes. As the tears flowed, the dog licked the face, but Sandy smelled and jumped down, she knew her Lady was gone.  

Leslie woke up in her chair, still facing the window. She started petting the dog in her lap and then looked down in disbelief. It was her Pearl. She put her hand to her mouth in disbelief. “Am I dreaming?” she thought. Pearl jumped down from the chair and ran to the open door and sat down, waiting for Leslie.  

Pearl waited patiently for her Lady to get up from their chair. They had places to go and many were waiting for them. As Leslie slowly got out of the chair and walked out the door, Pearl kept running slightly ahead of her, leading her to the bridge where she knew they had to go. She watched her Lady start to walk faster towards the bridge. She watched her Lady start to run when the Man waved to her. As soon as they got close, they hugged and cried more. But these tears were not sad, they smelled good. The Lady bent down and pet and hugged all of the pack. Once together they were safe together, they were pack. They knew they had others to greet at the bridge, but for now, Pearl was happy.