Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Debt....
Person: I want a life, family, to travel and to pursue happiness.
Government: You gotta work.
Person: I can do that! I’m young and willing to learn. Whatcha got?
Government: Minimum wage.
Person: Well, how does that measure up to living life?
Government: Not great. It doesn’t even cover the basics for a single person.
Person: So I gotta learn a skill or get an education. Right?
Government: Probably a good idea.
Person: Hey, trades, how you looking?
Trades: Pretty good actually. I can….
Society: wait, let me interrupt for a minute.
Trades: Dudes, I just started talking, wtf.
Society: Please, you are beneath us. But while I have you on the line, can you fix a few things in my
house?
Trades: Sure, I don’t care what you think, just pay me.
Person: hello…got a life decision here.
Military: How you doing?
Person: I think okay.
Military: Sign up with us and we can help you.
Person: Well, we can call that an option. Is it okay that I have a problem with authority and I fear death?
Military: nevermind….
Person: so, back to my life. Society and government has told me education is the best path…
Trades: Oh ffs, I’m going to go fix a bunch of houses and get paid bank, let me know if I ever matter in
this. (walks out)
Society: yay….come and be educated! It is the only way.
Person: Okay, so what does it take?
College: Money.
Person: I don’t have money, that’s the problem.
College: Go get money.
Loan dude: I got money, want some?
Person: Oh hell yea!
Loan dude: prove you and everyone you know is broke, and I can give you money. We have a special
“soul crushing” deal.
Person: I’m 18 and I’m totally ready to sign onto everything you say.
Loan dude: oh yea, all of you are. Here is money, I’ll be back in 10 years for your soul.
Person: Wait, isn’t that what a cross-roads demon says in Supernatural?
Loan dude: Crap, that’s right. I’ll be back in 4 years for your soul. (Disappears)
Person: wait that…hello…where did you go? Oh well, College, I now have money!
College: Awesome. That will be 390.00/credit hour and it takes 120 credit hours to get a Bachelor’s
Degree.
Person: wait wah? Do you have something in a smaller size?
Community College: We do! We are only 200/credit hour. But you have to downsize to an Associates.
Person: So $12,000.
Community College: And if you act now you will need to get a minimum wage job to do those crazy
things like you to do like eat and sleep indoors.
College: And then you can come to us for the next 2 years at $23,400.
Person: That’s almost 36,000!
College: Actually closer to $42,000
Person: What kind of math do you all teach?
College: The kind that includes books and supplies.
Person: So in order to not get a minimum wage job that will not pay for my life, I have to get a loan, get
a job and then pay off my loan for the next 10 years.
Life: Yup.
Person: How much will I be making in that time? Surely it will be worth it.
Life: Okay so oddly enough you will be making LESS than minimum wage for a while.
Person: but didn’t Government tell me that making less than minimum wage is not enough to live on?
Government: yea about that. It will be worth it in the long run.
Person: How fucking far am I running?
Government: Pretty far. Think 5 to 10 years. And that is if you are healthy and do not have any life
struggles.
Person: Well, that doesn’t seem likely.
Government: Oh not at all.
Job Market: Also you have no experience, so we are gonna pay you shit.
Person: Isn’t the point of going to school to better educate myself and earn more money?
Job Market: Yup.
Person: Well, I have done a lot of extra things in school.
Job Market: Uh huh. But, do you have experience in this field?
Person: Of course not! I’m like 18!
Job Market: So expect to get royally screwed when you graduate.
Person to Society: This system sucks. Seriously, who thought up this shit?
Society: Well, no one told you or your family to not be independently wealthy. I mean, people do it all
the time! All you gotta do is work hard!
Student Loan people: Yea it’s not working.
Society: Shut up, you don’t know what you are talking about.
Student Loan people: Yea, we do. We can’t buy anything cuz we are drowning in debt.
Society: Well isn’t that YOUR fault for taking on a loan? Geez, get real and do what most of us did!
Student Loan people: Live off the welfare of your parents and others at a drastically lower priced
educational experience than what we had?
Society: Pfft…that’s can’t be it, we are the bootstrap generations! Now, can you help us with this
economy? We want to grow it faster.
Student Loan people: What part of we are too in debt to buy things do you not get?
Society: Well pay off the debt! Then buy things!
Student Loan people: No money, no purchasing power. Fuck it, we are just gonna get dogs and not have kids.
Society: But then who will pay into our Social Security funds? And the government?
Student Loan people: This seems to be a more “you” problem than us.
Person: Is there any scenario where I get an education and a good job that I can afford life?
Life: (shakes Magic 8 Ball)…oohhhh…..it says the odds are not in your favor.
Government: You gotta work.
Person: I can do that! I’m young and willing to learn. Whatcha got?
Government: Minimum wage.
Person: Well, how does that measure up to living life?
Government: Not great. It doesn’t even cover the basics for a single person.
Person: So I gotta learn a skill or get an education. Right?
Government: Probably a good idea.
Person: Hey, trades, how you looking?
Trades: Pretty good actually. I can….
Society: wait, let me interrupt for a minute.
Trades: Dudes, I just started talking, wtf.
Society: Please, you are beneath us. But while I have you on the line, can you fix a few things in my
house?
Trades: Sure, I don’t care what you think, just pay me.
Person: hello…got a life decision here.
Military: How you doing?
Person: I think okay.
Military: Sign up with us and we can help you.
Person: Well, we can call that an option. Is it okay that I have a problem with authority and I fear death?
Military: nevermind….
Person: so, back to my life. Society and government has told me education is the best path…
Trades: Oh ffs, I’m going to go fix a bunch of houses and get paid bank, let me know if I ever matter in
this. (walks out)
Society: yay….come and be educated! It is the only way.
Person: Okay, so what does it take?
College: Money.
Person: I don’t have money, that’s the problem.
College: Go get money.
Loan dude: I got money, want some?
Person: Oh hell yea!
Loan dude: prove you and everyone you know is broke, and I can give you money. We have a special
“soul crushing” deal.
Person: I’m 18 and I’m totally ready to sign onto everything you say.
Loan dude: oh yea, all of you are. Here is money, I’ll be back in 10 years for your soul.
Person: Wait, isn’t that what a cross-roads demon says in Supernatural?
Loan dude: Crap, that’s right. I’ll be back in 4 years for your soul. (Disappears)
Person: wait that…hello…where did you go? Oh well, College, I now have money!
College: Awesome. That will be 390.00/credit hour and it takes 120 credit hours to get a Bachelor’s
Degree.
Person: wait wah? Do you have something in a smaller size?
Community College: We do! We are only 200/credit hour. But you have to downsize to an Associates.
Person: So $12,000.
Community College: And if you act now you will need to get a minimum wage job to do those crazy
things like you to do like eat and sleep indoors.
College: And then you can come to us for the next 2 years at $23,400.
Person: That’s almost 36,000!
College: Actually closer to $42,000
Person: What kind of math do you all teach?
College: The kind that includes books and supplies.
Person: So in order to not get a minimum wage job that will not pay for my life, I have to get a loan, get
a job and then pay off my loan for the next 10 years.
Life: Yup.
Person: How much will I be making in that time? Surely it will be worth it.
Life: Okay so oddly enough you will be making LESS than minimum wage for a while.
Person: but didn’t Government tell me that making less than minimum wage is not enough to live on?
Government: yea about that. It will be worth it in the long run.
Person: How fucking far am I running?
Government: Pretty far. Think 5 to 10 years. And that is if you are healthy and do not have any life
struggles.
Person: Well, that doesn’t seem likely.
Government: Oh not at all.
Job Market: Also you have no experience, so we are gonna pay you shit.
Person: Isn’t the point of going to school to better educate myself and earn more money?
Job Market: Yup.
Person: Well, I have done a lot of extra things in school.
Job Market: Uh huh. But, do you have experience in this field?
Person: Of course not! I’m like 18!
Job Market: So expect to get royally screwed when you graduate.
Person to Society: This system sucks. Seriously, who thought up this shit?
Society: Well, no one told you or your family to not be independently wealthy. I mean, people do it all
the time! All you gotta do is work hard!
Student Loan people: Yea it’s not working.
Society: Shut up, you don’t know what you are talking about.
Student Loan people: Yea, we do. We can’t buy anything cuz we are drowning in debt.
Society: Well isn’t that YOUR fault for taking on a loan? Geez, get real and do what most of us did!
Student Loan people: Live off the welfare of your parents and others at a drastically lower priced
educational experience than what we had?
Society: Pfft…that’s can’t be it, we are the bootstrap generations! Now, can you help us with this
economy? We want to grow it faster.
Student Loan people: What part of we are too in debt to buy things do you not get?
Society: Well pay off the debt! Then buy things!
Student Loan people: No money, no purchasing power. Fuck it, we are just gonna get dogs and not have kids.
Society: But then who will pay into our Social Security funds? And the government?
Student Loan people: This seems to be a more “you” problem than us.
Person: Is there any scenario where I get an education and a good job that I can afford life?
Life: (shakes Magic 8 Ball)…oohhhh…..it says the odds are not in your favor.
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