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Showing posts from March, 2020

Adulting is hard

"Come on, we are all adults here..." We have all heard this statement at one time or another. In theory, being an "adult" means you should know better, you should behave better, that in some concept of growing older, we somehow grasped the nuances of knowing how to behave in the best of ways at all times.  I used to believe in that statement. I used to believe that the term adult meant something. As I grew up, I also realized that the people in prison are also adults and clearly they didn't get the memo on how to be "adults".  During the COVID-19 virus, it is very apparent that being an adult means you just avoided death later than others. And for some, it is a miracle that a sooner fate was not met. If you do social media, (and clearly, you do) we have people not getting the concept of social distancing. So far we have spring breakers springing, Chicago decided to gather on the 606, and a couple of megachurches decided for mass gatherin

This is why we can't have nice things....

Government: So...this virus we have going on is a bit of a pisser. People: Oh we have been following on the news and it is awful and going to kill us and why didn't you tell us sooner! Government: About that..sorry, but...you all need to stay inside. Shit has gotten really bad.  Medical: Yes, please...send them home, we are a bit full up right now! People: Wow, so it is bad. Well, I mean look at other countries, it was bound to get bad.  Medical: We have seen shit you cannot imagine. Just come see us unless you really need us.  People: Absolutely...only when I have the sniffles.... Medical: No, not a little bit more than that. People: So like the sniffles with sneezies? Medical: Maybe wait for a bit more than that. There is going to be fever, coughing, runny nose.... People: so the flu... Medical: I mean, not unlike the flu, but with serious symptoms. Think like not being able to breath.  People: I have a stuffy nose...and I can't breath well. Should I

Dog Toy Landmines

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Tomorrow I will start my 2nd week of working at home because of the COVID-19. I've learned something about myself during all of this. I really like complaining about how quickly the weekend goes and how the reality of the boring routine of work is about to begin. It is an American pass time to complain about getting up and going to a job that keeps us supplied in all of the comforts of home. However, tomorrow, I just move from my bed to my living room and begin my day. Before my commute was 7.5 miles from my home. Now it is down the hallway. There are obstacles in the hallway that are tricky though. You see my dogs like to play a game that I hate. It is like hide-an-go-seek except they hide their toys and my feet seek them. I like to call it the Dog Toy Landmine game. In theory, I am smarter than my dogs, I really believe that. I type on my phone and not just lick it, unlike my dog Finn. I don't tear apart the carpet within earshot of other people, unlike my dog Leia. Sh

Who Ordered the Shelter in Place with a Side of Sanity?

As of today, Illinois has a Shelter in Place order because of COVID and other states are probably going to do the same if they have not already. Wanna know what this means? Most of us are going to need rehabs and gyms when this is all over.  Yes, it is a serious situation. Essentially, the government is sending to our rooms for a timeout because we didn't listen to them in the first place. "Social distancing" is a nice way of saying, "you all are a bunch of dirty, sloppy, fools who are literally a sneeze away from catching a virus whose sole purpose is to kill you. We tell you to not touch your face and you smack your head and rub your eyes in response. As you read this, you are thinking about how itchy your nose is right now. Since there is there is no way you can handle being in public without groping face like it is your first make-out session in the backseat of your mom's car...go to your rooms while the adults clean up this mess." That wasn&