The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Pre-SIP (aka Shelter In Place) I had lists of things I would do if I had time.

For example, I swore if I just had enough time I would dust more often. I know, it sounds like a ridiculous thing to do. But whenever people would come over, I would apologize and say, "you know how it is, you just don't have enough hours in the day to work and clean house."

Turns out that I was a big fat liar. I am just a terrible housekeeper. Right now, I could be dusting the hell out of my house. I could be chasing dust bunnies down like a hungry coyote in the dead of winter. The reality is the most powerful enemy my dust bunnies have is a blast of air that would chase them from their hiding spots because that is the only way I'm going to find them. 

I also said I would keep up with laundry more if I had the time. Wow...that was a complete lie! I could also be putting in the laundry and switching it all around for the last FIVE weeks...yet, here I sit, avoiding it. I'm hoping that it will become sentient and feel bad for being that dirty and just throw itself and its friends into the washer in a murder-suicide pact. 

Oh vacuuming you ask? Nope, not interested, it is all the way in the other room and the cord is all windy and then the insides get all dirty and I have to empty it....and that is all really, really hard! (that's what she said.) So, I fail at vacuuming, too.

I also said I would groom the dogs if I had more of an opportunity. Pfft....if you pet my dogs now, you will not recognize your hand and think you are being attacked by some fluffy beast from beyond. My one dog does hates being groomed anyway, so who am I to force a grooming?

I have learned a lot about myself during SIP. It turns out it isn't that I don't like driving to work...it turns out I just don't like work. Currently my commute into work is walking down the hallway. I get out of bed, take care of any bodily needs, turn on my computer and just start doing my job. It takes zero effort for me to get to work. Yet, for me it is still a chore because my bed is comfy and warm and the non-groomed puppies like to cuddle and...just 5 more minutes, mom! 

I have learned the things I really like to do...eat, drink, and sleep. I also like to write and draw (badly I might add). But anything that really means being an adult I have no interest in doing. I haven't even filed my taxes, yet...and every year I say I don't have time. 

I've been successfully lying to myself for years and now COVID blew my cover. I'm a little pissed at this because lying to myself was the only sport I was truly successful at. Now, that is even gone. 

The good news is when this is all over, I'm totally starting the cycle again. There is no way I'm going to believe I'm a very lazy adult, 


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