Jelly bean-phobia
I have discovered I have a new fear. Jelly Beans.
My fear began as a love of jelly beans. Jelly beans always had a feeling of "spring is here" for me. Mostly because they were in those plastic eggs at Easter. It was a simple idea too....put sugar and flavors in ovals. Easy to eat, easy to store.
Then came the gourmet jelly beans. They added flavors we never heard of and opened up whole new worlds for jelly bean lovers. We could now taste what a pina colada would taste like if it was bite size and warm. Buttery sweet popcorn now had no fat in it and didn't leave an oily mess on the hands. Cotton Candy, bubble gum and apple were all able to live in harmony in the bag and there was no mess involved.
The jelly bean makers made the jelly beans many different colors. They even speckled them to once they rain out of appealing colors.
So entered the confusion.
My problem began when I grabbed what should have been a green apple and instead grabbed a chocolate flavored bean. This shocked my taste buds. The chocolate one is not my favorite because it doesn't taste like chocolate but more like sweetened jellied coco powder. Which isn't as appealing. I sighed and blamed the darkness of the room.
Then I grabbed what I thought were 2 grapes. Nope. Grape and black licorice. Oh, how I hate black licorice. That was a combination that put my face in acrobatic mode.
Okay. I gave up the jelly beans for the evening. I figured I had pushed my limit and it was too late to eat the beans. I would wait until morning.
The next day I got out the color chart for the jelly beans to try and figure out what I was eating. My daughter and I actually had to place some beans next to each other to try and figure out what colors they were talking about. Coconut looked a lot like buttery popcorn. And the chocolate, black licorice and apple seemed to also blend together, unless you lined them up noting the differences in color. Once we separated them we felt safe to eat them again.
Today I looked at the leftover Jelly Beans with a kind of fear. We lost most of the color comparisons because many of the good ones were eaten. The leftover ones are kind of lurking at the bottom of the bowl. Last night I actually offered the bowl to my son and said, "Try this, see if it is a gross one." He declined my offer. He wasn't that curious.
So now the leftover jelly beans sit there...mocking me. "Maybe we are good, maybe we will make you gag...you never know until you try."
I think having a map for candy should have been a clue things have gone too far. That if I bought something I couldn't readily identify I really shouldn't have done it. That the word "gourmet" on a jelly bean bag is really nothing more than a candy maker's way of messing with my mind. Eating candy shouldn't be that difficult. If things are in the same bag they should be able to be eaten together. But let's face it, a popcorn/coconut/coffee bean combination is not good. It will shock the palate into full retreat.
I haven't lost complete faith in jelly beans. My daughter came home with jelly beans with a Nerd coating. After a few of those....I've decided next year I'm going with the Nerd covered jelly beans. The jelly bean makers may have coaxed me out of the "jelly bean state of fear" with that creation. No odd flavors, just a combination of 2 great worlds. Willy Wonka would be proud.
My fear began as a love of jelly beans. Jelly beans always had a feeling of "spring is here" for me. Mostly because they were in those plastic eggs at Easter. It was a simple idea too....put sugar and flavors in ovals. Easy to eat, easy to store.
Then came the gourmet jelly beans. They added flavors we never heard of and opened up whole new worlds for jelly bean lovers. We could now taste what a pina colada would taste like if it was bite size and warm. Buttery sweet popcorn now had no fat in it and didn't leave an oily mess on the hands. Cotton Candy, bubble gum and apple were all able to live in harmony in the bag and there was no mess involved.
The jelly bean makers made the jelly beans many different colors. They even speckled them to once they rain out of appealing colors.
So entered the confusion.
My problem began when I grabbed what should have been a green apple and instead grabbed a chocolate flavored bean. This shocked my taste buds. The chocolate one is not my favorite because it doesn't taste like chocolate but more like sweetened jellied coco powder. Which isn't as appealing. I sighed and blamed the darkness of the room.
Then I grabbed what I thought were 2 grapes. Nope. Grape and black licorice. Oh, how I hate black licorice. That was a combination that put my face in acrobatic mode.
Okay. I gave up the jelly beans for the evening. I figured I had pushed my limit and it was too late to eat the beans. I would wait until morning.
The next day I got out the color chart for the jelly beans to try and figure out what I was eating. My daughter and I actually had to place some beans next to each other to try and figure out what colors they were talking about. Coconut looked a lot like buttery popcorn. And the chocolate, black licorice and apple seemed to also blend together, unless you lined them up noting the differences in color. Once we separated them we felt safe to eat them again.
Today I looked at the leftover Jelly Beans with a kind of fear. We lost most of the color comparisons because many of the good ones were eaten. The leftover ones are kind of lurking at the bottom of the bowl. Last night I actually offered the bowl to my son and said, "Try this, see if it is a gross one." He declined my offer. He wasn't that curious.
So now the leftover jelly beans sit there...mocking me. "Maybe we are good, maybe we will make you gag...you never know until you try."
I think having a map for candy should have been a clue things have gone too far. That if I bought something I couldn't readily identify I really shouldn't have done it. That the word "gourmet" on a jelly bean bag is really nothing more than a candy maker's way of messing with my mind. Eating candy shouldn't be that difficult. If things are in the same bag they should be able to be eaten together. But let's face it, a popcorn/coconut/coffee bean combination is not good. It will shock the palate into full retreat.
I haven't lost complete faith in jelly beans. My daughter came home with jelly beans with a Nerd coating. After a few of those....I've decided next year I'm going with the Nerd covered jelly beans. The jelly bean makers may have coaxed me out of the "jelly bean state of fear" with that creation. No odd flavors, just a combination of 2 great worlds. Willy Wonka would be proud.
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