The time of lies.....
They say 2 things are sure in this life....death and taxes. I am beginning to believe people dread the latter more than the former. For many people, April 15 is a time to practice using every cuss word known to man, and even get creative and make up a few.
Now for those of you who finish your taxes the moment you get your information in the mail, you probably don't understand the dreadful day of April 15. You are more than likely sitting back and laughing at the "Midnight Filers" who drive by the post office at 11:59 and fling their package at anyone who looks like they might work there. To your credit (not a tax one though), you have earned that right because you were diligent and did your duty earlier in the year. While I can appreciate you being able to take the time an giggle at people who file last minute....I have to say you are missing out on something. The creativity of last minute tax preparations.
I have a theory...the longer the person waits to file their taxes, the more elastic their definitions become. What is a dependent? Is it someone who lives in your house you support? Or can the many friends of your children be considered dependents because you feed them as much as your own children? Or can your dogs be dependents? They act like children....and cost about as much especially if they don't have the sense to not eat dental rope and chairs.
Deductions also become a matter of interpretation. I gave someone good advice that made them money...that could be considered a donation. If I put something in the alley to be picked up by the garbage collectors, and someone comes along and picks it up, can I now deduct that as giving it away to a charity?
Then we have a conflict of definitions....what the IRS considers income and what a sane person considers income are 2 different things. I swear there are times I'm afraid to pick up money I find on the street because one day those people are going to consider it an "income" and will tax me on it. In fact, it could be written in there, but since I do not speak IRSese, I could be next in line for an audit. That old adage of "see a penny, pick it up and all the day you'll get good luck" might one day be the reason you are sitting in the IRS audit office with a box full of receipts and a Kleenex box.
And let's take a moment to look at a section of the tax code. According to TITLE 26, Subtitle A, CHAPTER 1, Subchapter B, PART I, § 67 (c)(1):
The Secretary shall prescribe regulations which prohibit the indirect deduction through pass-thru entities of amounts which are not allowable as a deduction if paid or incurred directly by an individual and which contain such reporting requirements as may be necessary to carry out the purposes of this subsection.
Let's take a moment and marvel at that 49 word sentence. First, let me remind everyone our grammar school teachers would have "red inked" that sentence because it was too long to read. There isn't a comma or a semi colon to be seen. It would be nice to have something to break up the thought might at least help a poor citizen out. But....nope. We have a very long sentence in which none of the individual words are difficult to read. But the tax code writers decided to throw them in that rambling order and what we have is word soup. And what is worse, get it wrong and the IRS will audit you for not being able to speak gibberish.
This is why accountants drink. Or at least they should. Understanding the tax code means entering into the minds of the legislators who must be paid by the word and not by what makes sense.
I think the IRS has it all backwards when they audit people. As it stands, the IRS audits people because the individual didn't interpret what the tax code correctly. What should happen is this...every person the IRS flags should be sent a plan ticket to vacation spot of their choosing, but not to be audited. The IRS should then ask the poor hapless citizen what part of the 2,500 page tax code had them confused. Then after the IRS agent fixes the part which was confusing (that should take a while) they should send the citizen home with a good meal, a few drinks and a letter of apology.
Please understand, I'm not talking about the citizen who is actually trying to cheat the government out of taxes. You know the type too. They are the ones claiming their house is a church because they filled out a magazine ad in 1964 and are known as the Priest of the Church of Living Squalor. I'm talking about the poor schmuck who didn't know that their 3rd cousin who is unemployed and squatting in their basement for 2 years wasn't considered a deduction. If people are already paying their dues in one way or another, the IRS should just cut them some slack.
It is actually the government's fault we lie to them. No one can interpret 2,500 pages of the tax code and get it right. We have a Senator who helped write the tax code not paying his taxes properly. If the people in charge of writing that monstrosity can't get it right, what hope do any of us have?
So, you Midnight Filers....I am not advocating you get too elastic with your definitions.....I just want you to know, I feel your pain.
Now for those of you who finish your taxes the moment you get your information in the mail, you probably don't understand the dreadful day of April 15. You are more than likely sitting back and laughing at the "Midnight Filers" who drive by the post office at 11:59 and fling their package at anyone who looks like they might work there. To your credit (not a tax one though), you have earned that right because you were diligent and did your duty earlier in the year. While I can appreciate you being able to take the time an giggle at people who file last minute....I have to say you are missing out on something. The creativity of last minute tax preparations.
I have a theory...the longer the person waits to file their taxes, the more elastic their definitions become. What is a dependent? Is it someone who lives in your house you support? Or can the many friends of your children be considered dependents because you feed them as much as your own children? Or can your dogs be dependents? They act like children....and cost about as much especially if they don't have the sense to not eat dental rope and chairs.
Deductions also become a matter of interpretation. I gave someone good advice that made them money...that could be considered a donation. If I put something in the alley to be picked up by the garbage collectors, and someone comes along and picks it up, can I now deduct that as giving it away to a charity?
Then we have a conflict of definitions....what the IRS considers income and what a sane person considers income are 2 different things. I swear there are times I'm afraid to pick up money I find on the street because one day those people are going to consider it an "income" and will tax me on it. In fact, it could be written in there, but since I do not speak IRSese, I could be next in line for an audit. That old adage of "see a penny, pick it up and all the day you'll get good luck" might one day be the reason you are sitting in the IRS audit office with a box full of receipts and a Kleenex box.
And let's take a moment to look at a section of the tax code. According to TITLE 26, Subtitle A, CHAPTER 1, Subchapter B, PART I, § 67 (c)(1):
The Secretary shall prescribe regulations which prohibit the indirect deduction through pass-thru entities of amounts which are not allowable as a deduction if paid or incurred directly by an individual and which contain such reporting requirements as may be necessary to carry out the purposes of this subsection.
Let's take a moment and marvel at that 49 word sentence. First, let me remind everyone our grammar school teachers would have "red inked" that sentence because it was too long to read. There isn't a comma or a semi colon to be seen. It would be nice to have something to break up the thought might at least help a poor citizen out. But....nope. We have a very long sentence in which none of the individual words are difficult to read. But the tax code writers decided to throw them in that rambling order and what we have is word soup. And what is worse, get it wrong and the IRS will audit you for not being able to speak gibberish.
This is why accountants drink. Or at least they should. Understanding the tax code means entering into the minds of the legislators who must be paid by the word and not by what makes sense.
I think the IRS has it all backwards when they audit people. As it stands, the IRS audits people because the individual didn't interpret what the tax code correctly. What should happen is this...every person the IRS flags should be sent a plan ticket to vacation spot of their choosing, but not to be audited. The IRS should then ask the poor hapless citizen what part of the 2,500 page tax code had them confused. Then after the IRS agent fixes the part which was confusing (that should take a while) they should send the citizen home with a good meal, a few drinks and a letter of apology.
Please understand, I'm not talking about the citizen who is actually trying to cheat the government out of taxes. You know the type too. They are the ones claiming their house is a church because they filled out a magazine ad in 1964 and are known as the Priest of the Church of Living Squalor. I'm talking about the poor schmuck who didn't know that their 3rd cousin who is unemployed and squatting in their basement for 2 years wasn't considered a deduction. If people are already paying their dues in one way or another, the IRS should just cut them some slack.
It is actually the government's fault we lie to them. No one can interpret 2,500 pages of the tax code and get it right. We have a Senator who helped write the tax code not paying his taxes properly. If the people in charge of writing that monstrosity can't get it right, what hope do any of us have?
So, you Midnight Filers....I am not advocating you get too elastic with your definitions.....I just want you to know, I feel your pain.
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