Unfocused on focusing
I wear glasses. This is not anything unusual, many people wear glasses. When I first realized I needed glasses around 8 years ago I was a bit taken aback. I always considered glasses as a sign of getting older. It is an irrational thought because there are grade school kids with glasses, and heck they are WAY younger than me...chronologically speaking only on some days, but still, younger than me.
But sometimes being illogical is part of being a human being. And I fit in that category.
I came to terms with the glasses a long time ago. I was willing to do what it took to make sure I don't do any damage to myself and others and to be able to read and write without getting any headaches.
My last appointement with my eye doctor took me to another level of reality. By the end of the visit, I was ordering bifocals. Bifocals. Not only does it hurt to say the word, but reading it on the screen causes a bit of a pinch too.
It's crazy really, because I know the only thing that is taking a hit is my ego. Cognitively I know that my eyes are what they are and going to the Doctor did not make them worse. I needed bifocals before I arrived there. Before I made the appointment. This is what the one side of my brain tells me.
The otherside of my brain doesn't visit reality very often. It is my emotional freak outside. And THIS side of my brain is stronger because it has been used WAY more than the rational side. My irrational side tells me that this is it....these bifocals are the first wave of my own personalized apocolypse. That this is my version of the four horsemen riding to start the inevitable doom. Today bifocals, tomorrow a cane. It makes no sense. But my irrational side has a very vivid imagination.
So for 2 weeks I tried to get used to the idea of wearing bifocals. I said it outloud to myself quite often. Which really made for interesting moments in the house and out in public. I would talk to a friend and just randomly mention I'm getting bifocals. By the end of the two weeks I'm sure I could have gotten a petition going to get me a perscription to stop the incessent babbling about bifocals. But hey, I was only gifted with bifocals. Today.
Therein lies the rub. I get the darn things and I guess I never knew they had an instruction manual that comes with them. Not a written one, but a verbal one. In my world, I thought the logical process was like this: to get the glasses, put on the glasses, then see through glasses. Silly me. Bifocals are not just like a "plug and play." It is teaching your eyes and head to be shifty. Now I have been fairly shifty for YEARS, it's just not been in my vision.
When I put on the glasses my peripherial vision was blurry (and not from drinking for the first time), looking down was trickier and made things look as if they were popping up at me like horrible video game. And....I felt shorter (for the life of me I can't explain that one). When I went shopping I got a little seasick because of all of the shiftiness. I was walking around with my hands out like I had been doing jello shots before I went to the store.
And here is the alarming part. I now an see clearer view of the world and I now might get the idea why people were gripping their seats a little tighter when I was driving.
So now I am sitting here at 1am....in my bifocals....able to read everything clearly on the screen and everywhere else. This is good. I know it. Thank goodness my irrational side had an early bedtime tonight or I might not be appreciating this right now.
But sometimes being illogical is part of being a human being. And I fit in that category.
I came to terms with the glasses a long time ago. I was willing to do what it took to make sure I don't do any damage to myself and others and to be able to read and write without getting any headaches.
My last appointement with my eye doctor took me to another level of reality. By the end of the visit, I was ordering bifocals. Bifocals. Not only does it hurt to say the word, but reading it on the screen causes a bit of a pinch too.
It's crazy really, because I know the only thing that is taking a hit is my ego. Cognitively I know that my eyes are what they are and going to the Doctor did not make them worse. I needed bifocals before I arrived there. Before I made the appointment. This is what the one side of my brain tells me.
The otherside of my brain doesn't visit reality very often. It is my emotional freak outside. And THIS side of my brain is stronger because it has been used WAY more than the rational side. My irrational side tells me that this is it....these bifocals are the first wave of my own personalized apocolypse. That this is my version of the four horsemen riding to start the inevitable doom. Today bifocals, tomorrow a cane. It makes no sense. But my irrational side has a very vivid imagination.
So for 2 weeks I tried to get used to the idea of wearing bifocals. I said it outloud to myself quite often. Which really made for interesting moments in the house and out in public. I would talk to a friend and just randomly mention I'm getting bifocals. By the end of the two weeks I'm sure I could have gotten a petition going to get me a perscription to stop the incessent babbling about bifocals. But hey, I was only gifted with bifocals. Today.
Therein lies the rub. I get the darn things and I guess I never knew they had an instruction manual that comes with them. Not a written one, but a verbal one. In my world, I thought the logical process was like this: to get the glasses, put on the glasses, then see through glasses. Silly me. Bifocals are not just like a "plug and play." It is teaching your eyes and head to be shifty. Now I have been fairly shifty for YEARS, it's just not been in my vision.
When I put on the glasses my peripherial vision was blurry (and not from drinking for the first time), looking down was trickier and made things look as if they were popping up at me like horrible video game. And....I felt shorter (for the life of me I can't explain that one). When I went shopping I got a little seasick because of all of the shiftiness. I was walking around with my hands out like I had been doing jello shots before I went to the store.
And here is the alarming part. I now an see clearer view of the world and I now might get the idea why people were gripping their seats a little tighter when I was driving.
So now I am sitting here at 1am....in my bifocals....able to read everything clearly on the screen and everywhere else. This is good. I know it. Thank goodness my irrational side had an early bedtime tonight or I might not be appreciating this right now.
Comments
Post a Comment